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It is simple to find information on internet about panic and anxiety disorder and what the sufferer experiences. However a whole group of people are also coping with panic attacks and are often ignored. They are – the family and friends.
A crisis in the family can affect the entire family and possibly close friends as well. They probably have a lot of questions that need to be answered:
What causes panic attacks? Are other family members at risk? What do you say to the children to reassure them but be honest? What do you do if you feel you cannot cope with the other person’s panic attacks? How do you deal with someone who has agoraphobia and wont leave the house. These are questions the families ask and it is not easy to find the answers.
While there is a lot of advice out there for the sufferer of panic attacks about symptoms and treatment and some material on how the family should treat that person, there is little information to support what the family and close friends are experiencing. The effects of anxiety and panic attacks on families can be devastating. Some may find it much easier than others to deal with the sufferer’s panic attacks. That will depend on a number of factors.
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How close are members of the family
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Who the major decision maker is
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Is the family lifestyle affected
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Are there children in the house
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How much does the family depend on the person suffering panic attacks who cannot now supply that support
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Every family will be different……..
How a close relative deals with the crisis also depends on his/her personal view of the world. Perhaps he believes that all problems to do with the mind only require the person to “pull themselves together”. If the sufferer is a man, the family might think he is weak and expect him to “snap out of it.”
Other family members might feel threatened if they have always derived support from the person suffering from these attacks.
So even if you are not close to the family, friendly support can be enormously beneficial to the family in crisis.
Imagine this. A partner “out of the blue” experiences a terrifying and worrying panic attack. Then it begins to happen regularly To begin with s/he may feel alarm and fear that something is terribly wrong. However at each trip to the emergency room the doctors pronounce that the patient is not having a heart attack, in fact “there is nothing wrong” with the patient. How does a partner cope with this news? Was the partner faking it? Is he/she a hypochondriac? Was the diagnosis correct? Feelings of anger, resentment or guilt can all be experienced. Watching a panic attack can be a very emotional and confusing experience for the “well” partner.
What about children? Children can be remarkably sensitive to the feelings of adults. When a parent suddenly or continually experiences panic attacks, the child is capable of picking up the feelings of the panicking parent, and can look to the other parent for guidance and reassurance in coping with the situation. They may well be scared and feel insecure. The parent recovers only for the cycle to repeat again and again. That is a lot for a young child to deal with. Mum, or Dad, has changed and is no longer the person to have fun with because they don’t want to go to the park any more and they don’t want to invite your friends. Children need to have an understanding of the situation as their own level of maturity.
Worldwide, millions of people suffer panic attacks. It is important for society to realise that this is now a family in crisis. Members of the sufferer’s family are also coping with the panic attack from a different perspective and need to understand what is going on and to be reassured that all will be well over time. They need to understand that the person suffering from the panic attack is in a lot of pain mentally, but that the bodily symptoms are only symptoms of the panic attack – not of something physically wrong. They too need to know that help for panic attack sufferers is available.
If the family feels overwhelmed it would be very wise to seek professional advice. If you ever find yourself in a situation where someone in a family is experiencing regular panic attacks, it is wise to remember that good care does not just involve treating the panic attacks but caring for the entire family.
